Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
