weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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