the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
