I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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