you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
