I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
