You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
