My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
