Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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