im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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