New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
