just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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