Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
