He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
