O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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