i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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