Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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