I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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