She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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