I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
