new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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