I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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