We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
