Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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