We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
