Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
