just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
