i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
