No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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