i just wanna soil my oats bro
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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