So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
