people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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