No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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