Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
