She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
