Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
