My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's blow job season.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
