I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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