Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
