i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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