that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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