She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
