i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
