the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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