he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
