We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
