Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
