Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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