I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
