So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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