Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
