If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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