He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
