i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
only if we run a train.
done.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
