It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
